I will always be proud to be Allison MICHELE Messimer.
My mom always says some of my best qualities came from Aunt Shell.
People always joked that Michele was my mom and Katie was my mother’s child.
She used to say that I wasn’t ever an only child; I have Garrett and Katie.
Michele was the best aunt, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, and friend someone could ask for. She led a great example and I have always pushed myself toward her example.
Need something? Odds are she’s already done it. She was the most giving person I have ever met.
The grieving comes in waves. The initial shock. The pictures on the refrigerator. Remembering my middle name.
To remember the amazing lady she was, here are a few of the innumerable things I will miss about my favorite aunt:
- Playful understanding that she was my favorite aunt.
- Her love of lists (and subsequent love of the name of this blog).
- Her obsession with organization and our bond over it.
- Pens – My favorite pen still to this day is one she bought for me in Taiwan a few years ago when Garrett and Andrea got married.
- “Go Ponies!” anytime I mentioned TCU.
- Always taking pictures of everyone on family birthdays and holidays.
- Eating Bertie Botts Every Flavored beans that one Christmas and sugar-free candies / mints at every chance.
- Taking care of my grandparents.
- Watches – the majority of my collection came from her.
- Christmas at her house every other year.
- Her love for animals.
- Coffee – every single finals week of college she sent me a Starbucks gift-card because she knew how addicted I am and it always came at the right time. The last time I talked to her was about coffee, actually. After my biannual card with Starbucks money, I texted her saying thank you and that she always seems to know when I’m running low. She said we were on our own special brainwave and she wished me luck.
My aunt is in a much better place now. Better than Hawaii, where she was supposed to go this week. Better than Taiwan, where she was supposed to go in just a few weeks. She is with God. What else could matter?
I am so thankful for uplifting words from friends. Texts from friends saying they are praying for me does more than words can describe. The community surrounding my mother in this time of need has been encouraging and uplifting and a true exhortation of the Gospel. Our kitchen hasn’t been empty all day, and neither have our stomachs.
I’m so thankful that she now gets to take care of my little brother, Carson. She’s alright, he’s alright, and we will be too.
Living in the past and grieving without looking to the future can only do us harm. She would want us to continue to live our lives the way that God has planned for us. This was his plan for her, and although she left me so soon, I am blessed to say that I was loved by her for 21 years – and she won’t stop loving me.
All I can do is to pray and stay strong for my family. To encourage my grandmother who asks why God didn’t take her instead. To pray over my family with words that God obviously put into my blubbering mouth.
To unapologetically live my life to the fullest because she always pushed my to be better, do better, and make a difference in the world. I never had to question if she was proud of me or if she loved me – I am so thankful and blessed for this, and must use this as an inspiration for my time to come.
She always had my back, and always will.
Allison MICHELE Messimer